Inspiration

5 pounds. That's how much weight I've lost in the past two weeks.

It's terribly frustrating for me to lose that little in the first two weeks; although I completely understand that 1-2 pounds is considered healthy (and maintainable) weekly weight loss, I usually drop weight very, very quickly once I commit to a change in my diet. I also know that I'm all kinds of hormonal right now, and that's probably impacting my weight loss - because of my endometriosis, I tend to fluctuate pretty wildly weight-wise (sometimes up to 10 pounds) around a certain time of month. And now would be that time.

But no matter how frustrated I am, I'm not going to revert back to my old eating habits, the ones that once brought me up to 196 pounds (and now brought me back to 183.8 a couple of weeks ago). As emotional and hormonal as I am right now, it would be SOOOO easy to say "screw this" and jump into a pint of Ben and Jerry's (Caramel Sutra... yummmmmm). But I have my eyes on a prize - the chance of becoming a biological mother.

And I also have some pretty big inspiration in the form of my mom and dad. Who have now collectively lost over 100 pounds - Mom was down 48 as of this morning! I am SO proud of them. If they can do it, I can do it too. I know I can.

The picture with this post is from right after Anne's trial (November 2009). I was considerably thinner than I am now, but still WAY up from the low-130s I was when I was attacked (which, in turn, was a bit up from my admittedly unhealthy low of 119 a few months before that). It's the last picture I have of me and my mom and dad together, and I'm calling it our "before" shot. The next time I see them will most likely be next summer (for my mother's mother's funeral/memorial - life has gotten in the way of our plans to do that), and I want to take another picture with them. Most likely, we'll all look VERY different than we look today, and certainly different than we did in this photo.

And we'll see how far we've all come. Together.